I'm stubborn, but I'm also irresolute

Sometimes, I just hate to make up my mind. Maybe I should use the term 'afraid of' instead of 'hate'. Once I made up my mind, I regreted... But sometimes I think I'm really stubborn and insist on some certain things. Even myself couldn't stand how stubborn I am. It's time to have some changes now...
Anyway, I'm having a new module this week, and it seems that we should make up my mind to decide what I want to research for my MA dissertation. There're several areas that I'm interested in. The ones I really want to do are about costs or profits... well.. the numeral thing. Not only becuase that I'm really interested in these but I also want to make good use of what I have learnt in college in Taiwan. And since I want to work in the financial department of a hotel, then that's another reason.
Having been studying those numral things for years makes me always looking for 'fact'. But what I'm really learning now if more like critically analyze 'information'. Or study human beings. Master of Art, which is I'm studying for now. Art....I don't take art (resource: Movie, She's all that)... Hmm... I'd like to think out of the box, not always searching for the 'fact', but... I guess I really need time to practice this...
Seems like I should do the research base on 'human thoughts or feelings' not the costs or profits thing which I reallt want to do... hmm.... hard to make up my mind again...
Bt the way, the tutor of this module has serious asthma. He breaths so loudly and seems like he's going to faint after every single sentence..."Good morning (huu~) Students (huu), I'm your (HUUUUUU) tutor for (hu) this class(HHHHu)" Some of the students just burst out laughing. One of the classmates told me that she felt like she's going to stop breathing with him after having his class for the whole day. To me, it's okay since I could absolutly understand how badly it feels when you have asthma. But it suprised me that he still smokes a lot...
I just read some chapters of 2 Kings and 1 Corintians of the Bible since I had something need to calm down and think about. Then suddenly what I read reminded me a song my teacher in high school had taught me. I kept singing that and then I indeed felt better. I'm looking forward to the coming of Thursday which is my Bible study day every week. I like going to the pastor's house not only becuase the pastor and his wife have a cute dog but also that it always make me feel so peaceful and forget what I'm worried about. And I also made some friends who're really different than my other Taiwanese friends here.
But... I still don't feel like doing/thinking about the topic of the dissertation now. The Huu tutor asked us to at least give him our aim and objectives and read 3 references and write brief descriptions tomorrow... No idea now, no motivation now... All I think is the Christmas break... I always like to travel or take a vacation. It seems like I've been traveling a lot this year even when I was in Taiwan. But it feels like I haven't been outside and traveled for a long time. I need leisure activities. I need my winter vacation....
Maybe I should just go to bed earlier tonight and see if I can dream some ideas about my dissertation tonight and quickly write the aim and objectives thing tommorrow morning before the class starts.... sounds a good idea...