突然

突然
很想離開
突然
很想回家
突然
很想去漁人碼頭
突然
很想摸摸BAGEL
突然
很想跟媽去菜市場
突然
很想很想很想外婆
突然
很想一家人一起吃晚餐
突然
很希望回到從前
突然
很想回到五年前
突然
很想回到學生時代
突然
很想念台灣的朋友 姊妹
突然
很想拋下自己蓋好的一切
突然
很想放下
突然
很想不顧一切
突然
很想開口說
突然
很想去教會
突然
覺得自己要知足
突然
覺得偶像劇看太多

One Year

Today is the day that I've been here for exactly one year. No one can believe that. And I've never been away from home for that long. I can still remember taking a picture of the Knoxville sign and missed Darlene.

Regardless of the real reason I wanted to come here. Now, I found my interests and fortunately, I can see my future career. But it's always hard to tell the future. I always try to tell myself that do my best and hand the rest or the result to God. And God never lets me down.

Sometimes I wish I can be more cold hearted so that I can make up my mind really quick. I guess I'm just too kind. There's always something that nobody can explain.

I still got 5 months to go. In some way, I don't want to leave here since I really enjoy my life here. In someway, I feel like going back to Taiwan RIGHT NOW.

I don't know where I'll be when I come back again, or if I come back again. I don't know how everything else would be. But I think I'm lucky enough to just hang on there for this long. I don't know what kind of person I am, maybe deeply in my heart, I am a cold hearted girl. I just need the driver.

Working is fun, but I wish there's something more important to me than just working. Or maybe I just work hard to keep myself from thinking too much.

Maybe it's time to drink and have fun.

Superwoman me

Today, I got a big fight with a guy who's my good friend here. I haven't had a big fight with my friends for so long even I do have a lot of fights lately with my guy 'coworkers'. If I'm right, the last time I got the big fight with my good friend was ten years ago. The bite mark from her is till on my left hand. But anyway, this time, I still think I'm right. And I hate guys yelling at me saying something that I knew I was right. Fighting with friends always makes me sad, and that's why I usually don't get angry at my friends, but not the ones that I don't admit that they're my friends. I've been losing a lot of patience lately. 'I don't fucking care' is the phrase I said the most recently. Well, it actually means the same as my favorite quota 'Hakuna Matata', just... in another words. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood lately, or maybe I'm just too tired from work. fighting with someone can probably help me release my pressure. But it feels good after yelling out. I'm not a weak Asian girl anymore though. I also feel good to make the guy apologize to me afterwards. I knew I was right. Don't question my ability you guys.
Yesterday, another female supervisor was so upset told me that the Turkish guys working with her didn't listen to her because for their culture, guys don't listen to girls. What the f... I guess then they can go back to their country to be with their little birds. But what happened to that girl never happened to me though. I guess my coworkers are just used to the superwoman me. Yeah right, I do change a lot. Become tougher and tougher to protect myself here. Chi~