Happy Children's day

Today is the children's day. And no matter how old I was, my dad used to give me a present for that. Well, actually I asked for that since they always said that no matter how old I am, I'm always their child (that's when I didn't obey them and thought I was old enough to deal my own business). Well, no present this year, just like no red envelop. I don't really want to remind myself how old I am now. But there's a new intern came last Friday who's older than me made me feel a little bit better. But maybe because of she's older, her thoughts kind of..... too adult for me. I just feel that... she's not the type of girl that I'd get alone with. We'll see.

Today, one of the coworkers said to me that he thinks that I should not go back to Taiwan and should just stay in Knoxville because I'm a Taiwanese working machine, which made me feel sweet but also sad. Everyone kept asking me what's my plan for the future. To be honest, even I have my plan, but I don't really have the control of it. And even I always had plans and God always somehow just gave me what I wanted, and sometimes my luck indeed surprised me and scared me. Yet this time, still as always, I don't want to expect too much just in case I won't be disappointed afterwards. All I can do is just praying, and praying, as I always did.

Yesterday, one of my aunties asked me if I miss my family in Taiwan, if I miss home, if I miss her. Even though I do, I still just told her that if I'm always missing my home, then how could I be independent. If I miss home all the time, I could never leave my parents and should just stay at home be their little Jackie. I think that's me, always shy to tell my true feelings, either to my family or to my friends.

But I had a deep thought later on, I'm now wondering if I really miss home or not since I sometimes don't want to be under controlled of my mom all the time when I'm here. I guess I just.... miss the life in Taiwan- that I could go to night market, I could walk Bagel, I could eat out and hang out with my friends, I could do a lot of things instead of just going to the bars in Knoxville. I guess I like to work and the relaxing life here in the U.S. but I need a vacation back to Taiwan once in a while- to eat- which reminds me that ... I do eat a lot. Today, a fat lady working in the kitchen saw me got a lot of food in the staff cafe, she asked if it's all for me, I said '...uhh... yes....why?' Then she touched my stomach and asked "Where does the food go? see, I eat a little but got so fat. Where does the food you eat go?" Well, I'm either sad and happy to know that people think I eat a lot but don't get fat. And it always took me a long time to explain to them that how skinny Taiwanese girls are, and how fat I was considered by Taiwanese people. They still can't believe me now, like they can't believe that Taiwanese guys like girls to be pale and skinny. Today, I had another argument with my coworker of American guy's taste. He now having a Thai girlfriend and he said that once he or any American guy who has dated an Asian girl, then there's no reason they'd ever date an American girl anymore. I guess he's just trying to say that we-Asian girls are the best! He indeed said that American girls suck compared to us. Oh the argument is about girls' big eyes and noses. I still couldn't get why those American guys like girls with small eyes. He told me that it's just like he couldn't get why Taiwanese guys would like skinny girls. I think what he wanted to say was that.... guys don't touch girls' eyes so the size of eyes don't really matter, but if a girl's skinny, she got no... body-which guys don't feel good when they're touching. Well, that's a good point that could convince me. Well, it's just interesting to know why guys are thinking especially all my friends in Taiwan are almost the same type, but here, none of them are like each other. Interesting....