The Tennessee River

Having been thinking a lot lately,
Having been searching for a bunch of things lately,
I'm losing my direction, I'm losing my patience, and I'm losing my mind.
Sitting next to the Tennesse River talking to my friend, talking about how we ended up being in Knoxville, Tennesse- a place, a town we've never heard before. The reason my friend's here was becuase she wants to travel. The reason I'm here, hmm... I don't know. Maybe becuase I wanted to run away from the real world. But seems I'm getting deeper and deeper to the real world.
I don't even though if I still like my life here anymore.
Looking at my Taiwanese friend's picture-where she took on her vacation to Bali island with her family. Oh, man... I don't even know when can be the next time I can just take a vacation with my parents. Seems I'm too old to miss my parents, but I do though. I hope one day I wake up, I'd just find that Bagel's sleeping next to me on my bed in my own sweet room in Taiwan. And I don't even mind my mom yelling at me in the morning and ask me to clean my room.
I think I need more courage here, to make some decisions, to plan for my future, or even to go further to the future.
I guess I just saw too muuch Taiwanese dramas which made me homesick.
Still got 10 more months , or I can say, only 10 more months left for me to enjoy my life here.
The weather's hot, but the trees and flowers are beautiful. I either like and dislike summer, just like I either like and dislike here.