2005 morning call

Because of the time difference, I got a sweet phone call while I was still dreaming this morning. Well.. I wouldn't say it's the early morning cuz' I slept late, but I was totally asleep. Hey~ a call from my dearest Taiwanese friend~ Oh yeah, it's almost midnight there. I thought it's an advertising call again until I heard a really familiar voice. "hello?", 'oui?oui?" "oui?" "oui?"... "Happy New Year!" threated away all my sleepy worms. Nice to hear real voice from a friend in the morning on the last day of 2005. I'm glad I just had my cell phone on and it's full of power cuz' I know new year is such a busy day for cell phones and messages. Few people were on MSN this morning. I guess all of them are now enjoying the counting down party. I gave greeting to some friends who're just leaving to count down but still online. OH~ I wanna go either! I miss the time going to Taipei city hall to count down with my friends. Eventhough it's always cold, but it's really touching when everyone's yelling 5,4,3,2,1 together. Oh~ and I like the firework as well... Anyway, happy new year too all. And hurray for the year of dog~

Merry Christmas

I've been looking forward for this day for such a long time... since my winter break had started one month ago. However, when this day really comes, I don't really feel particular excited or happy. Instead, some weird feelings just come up of my mind. I guess every sign shows to me that it's better to just hold fewest expectation so life would seem easier and happier. Maybe this is the last break I could be so relaxing, care of nothing else but just enjoy eating and sleeping all the time. After this break, first, I'll have to deal with other several classes, assignments. Then, there comes the dissertation, the most struggling part of all my studies.... After all this, the worst part comes! I'm going to face the real world- getting a job!!!! Which means stop depending on my parents, no money support from my parents anymore, and I'll have to give them money instead.... So even though I'm looking forward to finally finishing all my studies, I'm either afraid the coming of that day. It's a shame that ay my age, I'm still spending my parents' money while most of my friends are now supporting themselves. Next year is coming in a few days, am I ready for the new challenges? I don't know. maybe.. probably... I guess...

When?

Not sure how long everything will last

Not sure how much myself can persist

Which can be sure is that it won't be long

I need somebody to tell me what should I do

CSI

Lately, I have been addicted to watching CSI. Series murders, death, bloody, screaming cause me having nightmares every might. Even though I went to bed early, I still felt so tired after getting get in the morning. Feels like I’ve been investigating a murder case over night. The more episodes I watched, the more I wondered maybe I should have studied science or human whatever instead of business. Well… guess it’s too late and I’m not a observer kind person. But I do like ‘detective things’ like the some Japanese comic. I told my ex roommate that I regretted not being smart and having studied hard enough, otherwise I’d like to have a job like people in CSI. Then she asked me a key point “Are you dare to touch dead bodies??” Hmm… that’s a good question… Am I? I don’t know. Like to watch this kind of programs is one thing, touching real thing is another. One of the eps I watched yesterday was about a guy who’s responsible for checking the DNA of the evidence his colleagues brought back. He was so interested in going to the first scene so he went once, but then he was totally stuck when he saw so many dead victims in the blood… I guess I could imagine how I would be if I were him… But who knows, maybe I’d love real dead bodies, bloody things… probably, I’m not even sure I love that or afraid of that now… After my grandma died, seems like I’m not afraid of dead people now…
Back to real life, I heard that one of my friends’ ex here made one girl pregnant and just ignored that pregnant girl. Another guy took that girl to have abortion… Actually,, that happened before my friend was with that guy. She didn’t know this after she broke up with him. It was my first time hearing this kind of thing really happened within my friends. My friend regretted having been with that irresponsible ex. I told her that she should be glad that he didn’t make her pregnant before they two broke up. Having been studying here for more than one year, everyday I heard is news like this. Who and who are together, who slept who last night, who takes drugs. In the beginning, I really couldn’t accept these kinds of things, but my friends just told me that that’s the life here, everyone smokes and takes drugs, desires for sexual life no matter guys or girls and I couldn’t judge them by my Taiwanese point of view…. Well… yeah… maybe… so I guess I’m now used to hearing shocked news “to me”…But sometimes thing still confused me. Last night, a group of people was so noisy in front of my door when I was so asleep and their noise made me think that I was dealing a murder case in my dream. Then I suddenly woke up and realized that it’s not a case and not a dream either. I guess I have a new neighbor and there’s a connecting door between our rooms. One person just tried to open the door last night… I was kind of scared, and glad that the door is locked at my side…. I heard people yelling about going to pub last night. I guess they’re just another group of drunk people. I was just afraid that they'd be out of control and crash into my room…. Well, I guess sometimes, hiding in my room doesn’t necessary mean that I can hide away for having a peaceful life. C’est la vie. Only few couples of months of this life left…Mooney’s going back to her peaceful life soon.

幾米的獨白

From one of my friends:

很清楚的知道她不合適自己，可是更確定的是他不會主動說分手。他只是耗著等著，直到有一天女生自己受不了忽冷忽熱、若即若離的態度，或是等到年華老去不得不下決定時，自己選擇離開。妳的主動離開，我沒有負心，反而是尊重與成全妳的決定。

半年後發現，他居然可以跟一個只認識三個月的女生步入妍鞳A令她晴天霹靂，才明白他不是不想結婚，不是真的不婚主義者，說穿了只是他不想跟妳結婚。八年的愛情長跑比不上三個月的感情。

這位故事中的男生是我的朋友，現在也已經結婚半年。當他聽到劉若英的「後來」，居然會無法克制的流眼淚，想起的是他交往八年的前任女友。為什麼會難過，因為妻子身上有著前任女友的影子。他才明白其實他喜歡的就是這種類型的女孩。

可是人往往很矛盾，喜歡她的倔強與有性格，卻受不了她的嬌縱。喜歡她的落落大方，卻受不了她的朋友一堆。你愛她的小家碧玉，就不要怪她不夠大方

你愛她的活潑大方，就不要批評她像花蝴蝶一樣戀愛談的愈長，結婚的可能性就愈低，所以有時候戀愛的長度與結婚的可能性成反比。

喜新厭舊是人性，日子久了，會結婚不是為了愛情，而是責任感的驅使。婚後的他才慢慢的發現，當時的那一段感情其實不是不愛，是時間太久了太長了，把愛情給磨掉了，再遇到另一個女孩點燃了愛情的火苗，星星之火足以遼源，把枯竭已久的愛情給予生命，所以倉促的決定結婚。

等到真的結婚後，愛情降了溫，才慢慢的發現其實妻子的身上有著許多前任女友的影子，他比較愛的人其實還是前任女友，可是他娶的卻不是她。這樣的情節不知道是不是也在別處同樣上演著？

學生時代的愛情很單純，出社會以後總想等工作穩定以後再結婚，工作穩定以後又想等有一點積蓄買車子、買房子以後再結婚，等著等著，等到愛情被時光給消磨，等到第三者介入點燃了對方心中激情的火苗，乾柴烈火不可收拾以後，曾經在年少一起織夢的理想全都抵擋不了新鮮感的激情，所以琵琶別抱，到最後步入禮堂的都不是在一起同甘共苦、共同經歷過寒、暑假，等當兵的人。

所以奉勸各位女孩子，如果對方真的是你想結婚的對象，不要想著有房子有車子有金子，有了一切再結婚。現實是，等他有了一切，他的身價暴漲是有價值的單身貴族，他必需要面臨的是更多的誘惑，妳長久以來的等待與年輕時許下的山盟海誓都難以抵擋誘惑排山倒海的來。

就像我現在若不嫁他，非得等到他有車子有房子還有存款時再結婚，
那時新娘有極高的可能不是我。

因為要等到什麼都有還要幾年？有能力的男人就像酒愈久愈香醇，女人則像麵包一樣有賞味期限，青春是女人的天敵。

如果我是他，等到我三十五歲，什麼都有是個有上千萬身價的黃金單身漢，我並不需要一個很有能力而年過三十的女人來幫襯我，我寧可選個如花似玉，年輕貌美的女生，也許沒有什麼工作能力，至少發揮了賞心悅目的功能，一個真正有能力的男人，不會在乎一個女人是否能在他的財富上加乘。遇上對的人，莫等待莫蹉跎，也許沒有房子沒有車子，只要他認真上進

Well... I think this is an issue that worth debating...