2006/05/05

Call me an OL

No OL's standard dressing,
no OL's standard hair style,
no OL's standard make up,
no OL's standard purse,
and no OL's standard high wheels.

But I'm now a student look OL.
Blue jeans for hiding my fat legs,
pony tails for hiding my puffy hair,
no make up for look younger and innocent,
Jansport backpack for my laptop,
sport shoes for running faster to catch the bus.

I've been working in my uncle's office and been an OL for weeks.
This week was a tight and tough week for us. I help for free for the reason that my mom wouldn't push me to find a job or think I would be doing nothing at home since I'm helping her brother. Another reason I work for my uncle for free is that by that way, I have the excuse or right to ask my mom do my willings since I indirectly help her.
Few days ago, my mom asked me if I really just wanted to work in hotels or if it necessary has to be a hotel. She even asked her sister to tell how good it is to work in an office, how interesting it is, etc. But after these days working, evem though I like the job I'm now doing for my uncle's company, I still think working in an hotel would be more fun. I couldn't believe how I suffered from 4 years of college studying for such an office type major...
For this week, I barely had time to relax, it's my first time feeling 'TGIF". Even though I indeed did more work of my dissertation a day then before. I left home early in the morning and didn't get home until 8pm or 9pm, but I could really concerntrate on my school work for hours until midnight after being back from work. I hardly remember how I fell asleep for the last few days. I guess people really need pressure. I always wasted my time just hanging around doing nothing when I didn't have to work in my uncle's office. But I could do a lot when I was pretty busy and tired from work. I guess it's called efficient which I'm happy to see that I'm now finally not behind my schedule.
Anyway, thanks God it's friday. Pray for my other job hunting and keep up the work of the rest parts of my dissertation.

2006/05/02

瓶頸

雖然我已經不信這套很久了, 但家母還是趁我在國外的時候去幫我安了個太歲
再瑞士的台灣朋友 大多都比我大一兩歲 沒有人跟我一樣是屬狗的
雖然他們都知道我會上教堂 但是在過年時 還是叫我應該請家人去幫我安個太歲
然後跟我訴說他們在他們本命年時有多衰之類的 我當初只是笑笑 我說 信的人就會 不信的就不會
不然那麼多老外他們連聽都沒聽過這個 那怎麼辦
記得我還12歲時 一聽到是自己的本命年 就很高興 認為到了本命年 應該很幸運 一切都很好 我也不記得在那一年有過什麼不如意的衰事 那時媽媽有帶我到山上廟裡安太歲 我記得
我媽也沒有信什麼教 但是就是覺得要跟著大家一起做 就像姥姥去世一樣 明明外婆也沒信什麼教 但是要注意的禮數一堆 我看我們做到最後 也根本不知道是為了什麼 只是跟著習俗走吧
這也是我喜歡去教堂的原因之ㄧ 大家把握活著的時候快快樂樂 過世之後也不會在留戀什麼 把懷念放在心中 我爸就是這樣
back to the topic 我看我不得不承認我今年真的有犯太歲巴 沒經過什麼大風大浪的我 即使只是煩人的小事 現在對我來說也是被放大的瓶頸 所有事情擠在一起 或許我當初真的不該早點回來台灣 一口氣把論文在瑞士寫完就算了 美國工作的是已經讓我頭大了 本以為以我的條件很容易就可以找到工作的我 最想要的那一家居然還沒給我面試的回應 或許GOD要我不要太自信 一方面凡INTERVIEW的事 一方面還要面對我媽有事沒事的精神勸說 但是現再新聞常常播一堆生活很困苦的人 我又覺得我應該要知福惜福 不該再跟我媽回什麼 阿姨們的"關心" 在我眼裡也變成壓力分負擔 常常覺得 我自己決定的外來 要是以後有不順的地方 就只能怪自己 我不想以後怪別人 誰不知道要聽老人言 but... it's my life...
anyway最近就是沒有一件順心的事 但還好也都是人生幾十年中一些不起眼的小事 只希望自己能早點看開