The purpose to study hard

Recently, I've been trying to keep something out of my mind by studying hard.
Being study hard, it takes away the time for me to get into a dead end by worrying about something I probably don't have to. It's a positive way to keep my mind too busy to imagine something though. The sadder I am, the more I miss my grandmom. No matter what has made me upset, the only way I can comfort myself is thinking of my grandmom. It's another reason though. Guessing and self-called 6th sense wouldn't make things better. Sometimes I just need the courage to be more decisive which I'm really lack of. I hope I can study 24/7 without any sleep because the period of time before really falling asleep is the hardest time for me to pass through, what I don't want to think all come into my brain at the same time again. I guess I'll just need to study harder... harder... harder... to make my brain full of knowledge instead of emotions... yeah... back to study...